Before I became pregnant with my first baby, I was completely ignorant about pregnancy, birth and motherhood. Once I knew I was pregnant, however, I immediately became a sponge for knowledge and soaked up any information about pregnancy that I could. The entire process fascinated me, and I longed to continue being part of the whole process; yet I knew once I birthed my baby girl, and she was past infancy, that while still continuing the extraordinary journey through parenthood, I would lose the miraculous experience of birth and infancy. I found that I longed to speak with other pregnant women and other moms about their experiences. Through all this I came to the conclusion that becoming a doula was indeed my calling. Once I realized this, I was completely flooded with emotion and an immediate sense of urgency to do as much as I could to make this a reality.

Today I’m on the road to becoming a certified postpartum doula through DONA. Thus far I have read several books and I've done a great deal of research, learning about what doulas do and their amazing impact on the birthing and mothering experience. Through my reading and research, I have developed my own understanding of the value of having this astounding support system during such a chaotic time. The new mom has many barriers to overcome and a great deal of new information to muddle through. It’s hard to determine what is accurate, what is true and what is right for you and your family when there is so much conflicting information out there.

My objectives as a postpartum doula are 1) to provide emotional support, 2) to provide information, 3) to provide physical support, 4) to provide resources and 5) to make the new mothering experience the best experience of a lifetime. I truly believe that if all new mothers had the support systems that doulas provide, there would be fewer cases of postpartum depression, fewer unanswered questions, mothers would mother better, and babies would be happier.

Every mother, after coming home from the hospital or birthing center, would benefit from having someone to talk to. I hope to provide my mothers with a friendly, non-judgmental ear to listen to their birthing stories and their fears about motherhood, or even their difficulties with their partner or family. Sometimes just having an outlet to express yourself can really relieve the stress and anxiety you feel. I remember feeling very out of place with my new daughter, and I didn’t think what I was feeling was normal. Wasn’t I supposed to instantly love this little being in my arms? Why was I so scared that I just lost myself and made the biggest mistake of my life? When mothers feel these things often they are afraid to share, for fear of being told they shouldn’t feel that way. Having their feelings validated and knowing what they feel is perfectly normal, and will pass, can really help a new mother to understand herself. My purpose is to guide mothers through this emotionally confusing time.

Information is power. To travel into the unknown unprepared is very daunting. For a new mother there is a great deal of information to learn. You will hear about things you never even considered before, and then you will be expected to make decisions. That can be scary. Part of my job as a doula will be to provide as much information as I can to my client families, based on their questions and concerns, and to pose questions to the family regarding things they may not have thought of yet. This information will be unbiased and factual, and cover all sides of the issues many new parents are concerned about. Is co-sleeping safe? What’s the deal with immunizations? Some sources insist circumcision is required to maintain good hygiene, so should you circumcise? Is it supposed to hurt when you breastfeed? How do you hold on to a slippery baby when bathing him or her? This is just a small sample of the questions I had when I was a new mom. Busy taking care of my newborn with little support, I found it very hard to find the time to research these subjects myself. A doula can quickly provide resources and information to help with these questions and choices.

Sometimes new moms can benefit greatly from a little tender loving care. Part of my job as a doula is to relieve the mother of her duties long enough so she can take a well deserved shower, or help her figure out the best position for breastfeeding. What works for one mom may not be the best solution for another mom. Many doulas also offer some light housekeeping, or will entertain the other children so that mom can spend more quality time bonding with her baby. This can be invaluable.

When a doula doesn’t have the answer, I feel it is her obligation to seek it out and provide it to the mom, or to provide the mom with a resource to get the information if possible. In general, doulas can answer most new mothering questions and concerns, but every doula will eventually find herself working with a family that has a unique situation, and who needs more in-depth information. These circumstances can arise when a family has multiples, an infant with disabilities, extensive trouble breastfeeding, or extreme depression, etc. As a doula, I will be prepared to point my client familes to the right resource to get the help they need. Difficult situations such as these can be emotionally draining, and trying to find assistance on your own can be very daunting. With the help of a doula, all you need to do is ask!

Most of all, I want every single mother to be the best mother she can be, and not to be afraid of motherhood and the unknown. Children are a blessing, and being a parent is truly the most amazing experience in life. I think Elizabeth Stone said it best when she said, “Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.”